Ranidaphobia: The more you know

Defined as "a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of frogs," each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress. Changethatmatters.com

I am terrified of frogs. No, really. Seeing even a picture of one makes me scream and flee. It's been this way my entire 38 years on this planet. I realize this fear is completely irrational and that the horrible creatures are harmless and possibly won't really attach themselves to my face and suck my eyeballs out, but just because it's never been documented as happening doesn't mean it won't.

My hometown, dear Shallotte, where my parents still live, is a coastal town down in temperate southeastern North Carolina. Frog central. And that's very unfortunate for me and the frogs that I encounter and shreik at when I'm there.

My earliest ranidaphobic memory is from when I was three. My bed was against the wall by a window. I woke up to see TWO hideous green tree frogs stuck to the window pane. On the inside. Four inches from my face. I was so afraid that I couldn't move or even call for my mama. Brrrrr...

Here's the thing: I'm not at all afraid of snakes -- even the ones that could kill me. And my VERY favorite living creatures are alligators. One would occasionally wash up on the beach at home and make the local paper. On our very boring school trips to Brook Green Gardens south of Myrtle Beach, I'd spend the entire time at the pond, looking at them instead of the statues. I remember trying my very third-grade hardest to lure one of the babies to take home with me.

My daddy took us out on the skiff in the Shallotte River once and an alligator that was as long as the boat emerged beside us and hung out for a minute, checking us out. My sisters hid on the floor under the mast, but my daddy and I stood up and watched it.

I just heart them. Even the taxidermied one named Phil that my friends brought me back from New Orleans as a joke. I don't think he's macabre at all. He's awesome and is a member of the family. The coolest member of the family because he's an alligator. And alligators ROCK.

I had this e-mail exchange with my mother today.

----

On 10/24/07, (my mom) wrote:

Hey everyone,

I was walking out to the swing in the back yard this morning and there was an alligator on the brick walk near the fountain. I scared it (thank God) and it turned swishing its tail from side to side and went under the bushes. It was about three feet long. Can you believe there is an alligator in our back yard.

No, I'm not drinking!!!

Ma
-----

From: (me)
To: (my mom)

I am sooooo jealous!!!!!! I want an alligator. Or some of whatever that is you've been drinking.

----