Random ways to amuse yourself at work, vol. 1

Every morning, I walk into the office and say, "Good morning, Tom," in the exaggerated "Great to be here, great to see you!" voice I developed at a previous job to psyche myself out when I was thinking, "I hate this place and you personally." It became a subconscious habit.

Tom is the office manager, whose desk is in the lobby. He's very businesslike and focused on his work, so he has no time or use for pleasantries. He grudgingly, without looking up, mutters a gruff, "Morning."

I always say his name because that forces him to answer me. And it irritates him. And that amuses me.

His morning vibe is "You are irritating me." So his 5 p.m. vibe is "I would rather stab you than acknowledge you."

My sing-song "Good night, Toms" were getting nowhere. So I started saying random, ridiculous, farewells he'd hear above the unnecessary noise of people walking past while he's crunching numbers.

Recent examples* include:

So long, Tom

Rock on, Tom

Peace out, Tom

Keep on truckin', Tom

Sayonara, Tom

Catch you on the flip side, Tom

Nite-Nite, Tom

Check ya later, Tom

Godspeed, Tom

May the force be with you, Tom

Good old Tom has taken to responding, "See ya, Leigh Ann." He doesn't take his eyes off what he's doing, but he can't help but like me. Begrudgingly.

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*Need more examples. Send 'em in! Gotta keep this train rolling.