My love/hate relationship with babydoll shirts

I was so happy when babydoll shirts came back into style to replace the belly shirts that have ruled for the past few years. Babydolls show off the boobies then hang loose and freely. I love that they don't cling to my midsection or to my underbra fat.

They do come with an unintentional, unfortunate side effect. They're cut like maternity tops. I've talked to other girls and we can all tell stories about the very bad outcome: People ask you if you're pregnant when you're wearing one.

The very sweet elderly lady who works in my company's cafeteria not only asked if I was pregnant when I was wearing one, she actually touched my belly. "No ma'am," I responded, "It's just my shirt and my fat."

Today, I was outside smoking. People always talk to me outside, and I have a lot of "Hello, how are you?" conversations every day with people whose names I don't know but whose faces I recognize.

So this man, whose name I don't know but whose face I recognize came up to me today. He looked at my cigarette, then said, "So you're pregnant?"

I lost it. It's one thing for sweet old ladies to ask you, but this was too much. I totally went off: "NO! Gah! What's wrong with you? NEVER ASK A WOMAN IF SHE'S PREGNANT!!"

I made a very dramatic point of disposing properly of my cigarette and then stomped back into the building, with him still stammering. Went up to my floor and related the story to a couple of my friends. One said, "You should have said, yes, I'm pregnant, and I want my baby to be born with emphysema."

I replied, "Yes, and we're hoping for a very low birth weight so I don't have to push too hard."