Today was my first day back at work since March. I didn't do a great job with my hair or makeup, as I haven't worried with either for the past nine weeks. Wearing pants with buttons and zippers will be extremely difficult to get used to again after two blissful months in sweats.
My boss (we're the same age) and I started talking about the shameless outfits the young girls are wearing in public these days. A part of me is really irritated that when I was 21 and had a flat belly we were all wearing giant shirts; now that I'm (cough) and the years of beer and rich foods are showing, things are teeny and fitted.
Not that it matters. The last thing I'd ever want to do is go out after 9 p.m. Like I told her, I love being this age and spending my saved-up cool points liberally by not caring what's hip (fresh? phat? the current vernacular eludes me...) or not.
Wow. It feels good to get that off my chest. So good, in fact, I'm gonna get some other confessions out of my system.
* I HATED "Juno." Seriously, did the former Brook Busey write a fairly good story then hire random, barely literate, text-messaging teenagers to replace organic dialog with insipid, stilted hipster- and pop-culture-of-the-moment references? "Honest to blog?" Honest to dog, nobody ever said that before this movie, and anyone who's uttered it unironically since should be locked in a cell with the OED and a stack of Bill Bryson books for a month. And don't even get me started on the musical name-droppings between Ellen Page and Jason Bateman. (backs away slowly)
* I only ever saw two episodes of "Sex and the City." SJP annoys me. (ducks)
* I think critics are too cowed by Kanye West's tantrums to admit that his music is completely unlistenable. (screeching car sounds)
Okay, I'm going back out on my front porch with my air gun to chase those hooligan kids off my property. Damned kids, with their awful pop music and saggy pants. I can't even tell the boys from the girls...
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Gimme your confessions. This is a safe place where you won't be judged and we can all hold hands and sing "Kumbaya."
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THE LIGHT EPHEMERAL
1 day ago
8 comments:
Cool Points:
I loved Bill Hicks even when he was alive.
I was always a big Husker Du fan
Uh, that's it really.
Minus points -
I tried to read Henry IV. It bored me senseless. I simply do not have the attention span.
I never liked Eddie Murphy that much. Even bacl when he was supposed to be really funny.
I don't like it when Family Guy does the sick kid jokes.
I can't get into The Godfather (see uncool points #1)
I like loafers
That's enough, I'm dying here.
So, funniest person I'm married to, you're just being ironic when you gleefully sing, "Put a little tiny man in your butt?" Okay, you can get away with just that one Eddie Murphy reference because you're foreign. And you appreciate Bill Hicks.
But I loved "Trading Places".
"Once you had a man with no legs you'll never go back baby"
SJP Rocks!!!
I know what you will be getting for your birthday this year ;)
The only people who think I’m cool are the “English as a second language” seven-year-olds that I tutor. And they only think I’m cool because I know all of the “big words” in their books and I always carry a bag full of lollypops.
In reality I’m a big dork. I drive a mini-van – enough said.
I also couldn't stand Sex and the City in doses of up to, and including, an entire episode. At the risk of being Captain Bringdown, here's an article you should check out:
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/05/woman-in-charge-women-who-charge/?scp=1-b&sq=women+in+charge&st=nyt
I think you are OK, coolness-wise, hating on the acting in Juno, just so long as you like Arrested Development. You like Arrested Development, right? Right, big sis? Also, for the record, Jason Bateman is, like, soooooo cute.
Also, if you hate "Juno," be grateful you don't live in Minnesota. If I hear one more word about Diablo Cody's rags to riches tale of Minneapolis stripper to award-winning screenplay writer, I will just have to die of annoyance. (Disclaimer about Minnesota: we tend to like taking credit for people who lived here for, like, a day.)
Jessica little sis-
I always watch "Arrested Development" DVDs on road trips. Best. Sitcom. Ever.
Jason Bateman is my TV boyfriend (Tina Fey is Steve's TV girlfriend), because he looks just like the boy I loved from 3rd grade until we graduated high school in 1987. I saw said boy at a funeral for a friend two years ago and introduced him to my "Stusband Heve."
Disclaimer: Steve thought it was hilarious when I did that.
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