Tuesday is nearly over

I have a friend at work (we worked together at the agency before we jumped ship and went corporate) who is the queen of malapropisms and mixed metaphors. She has been making me laugh for years and throws it right back at me when I say something wrong, which also cracks me up.

This morning, she was hanging out in my cube telling me about her trip to Target last night with her six-year-old son. She bought his Halloween costume and was amazed at how much little kids' outfits cost now.

"So what's his costume?" I asked.

"Bubba Fett," she replied. After a very long pause, she asked, "What are you laughing at?"

"(Her name)!," I finally managed to choke out between gasps, "It's Boba Fett! Unless, of course, you buy the outfit and slap a trucker hat and maybe a sticker of Calvin peeing on a racecar number on it somewhere." And I could barely catch my breath and stop laughing.

"You're gonna write about that, aren't you?" she asked. "Yes!," I responded, still unable to sit up straight. "But I promise not to use your name."

I laughed all day. Then I went to my Tuesday night Board Meeting after work. The weather here is glorious and cool (finally!), so we sat on the back patio at our downtown bar. I love that space, as it's blocked between buildings, so if you don't look up too high, it's like being in a real city.

The usual suspects and I started talking about concerts we'd seen in our youth. I told the story about seeing Prince on his suprise greatest hits show in 1997 from the front row. I was with my two best friends, a boy and a girl. Boy best friend reached his hand up and Prince slapped it, then girl grabbed boy's hand and put it on her double-D boob. Though they were total buddies and nothing more, I'm pretty sure boy friend forgot all about Prince for a second or two.

"I was really into fish when I met Prince," one of the usual suspects replied. (I am really tempted to stop telling this story and land on that sentence, as it's brilliantly random and absurd.) Then he went on to explain that he was really into fish and aquariums in high school, so he got a job in a pet store in a mall in Asheville, N.C. It's my friend's story to tell and I was frankly too dumbstruck to take in all the details, but apparently, during the Purple Rain Tour, as they were making their way from Charlotte to Atlanta, Apolonia (yes!) decided she wanted a dog.

So they stopped in Asheville to get a dog and went to the pet store where my friend worked. Prince's security detail notified the mall and blocked off the entrances for an hour, unbeknownst to my friend. My then-teenaged friend, in his Pets Plus golf shirt, found himself in the presence of Prince and Apolonia.

"What did he look like?," I squealed! "I wasn't paying much attention to him," he replied, "I was 15 and all I could do was keep from fainting over Apolonia. She was so hot!"

"Oh, come on, tell me what Prince looked like!"

"He looked like a guy in love with a girl," my friend said. They bought two puppies and left.

And I swooned. I'm still swooning to "If I Was Your Girlfriend..."